Thing One and Thing Two...Or...My Poor Ignored Produce

Not two days after I blogged about the joys of organic farming and how wonderful it is that I can now get huge amounts of produce, I opened my fridge to make some yummy stir-fry to the sight of such wilt, such squishiness and rot as would make even the sternest heart weep. Poor green beans. Poor red peppers. Poor lettuce. I really did mean to eat you, back a month ago when I saw you in the produce section, so multicolored and inviting. I had such plans to roast those peppers. Such great plans for steamed broccoli with rice and chicken. I'm sorry produce. I failed you. If it's any consolation, the tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich that I cooked, after I threw away the completely inedible stir-fry I made with you, made me feel like a horribly cliched bachelor and a waste of culinary talent.

It's a problem I think I'm going to have with these coop people--a half bushel of produce is a lot of produce, especially for someone who is almost never home and rarely has time to cook. I'm anticipating making lots of soups and fruit juice punches in the coming weeks. If anyone knows what to do with a pepper squash, please let me know. Seriously. I've got one on my shelf and it keeps staring at me, challenging me to make some new and wonderful recipe with him, and I keep having to back away from him, afraid. Snide little punk-ass squash.

I've been trying to buy a laptop again, having realized that my current laptop can't display this blog screen correctly, and it's not going well. I've e-mailed two people on Craig's List, practically begging them to let me buy their computers from them. "Please," I say, "I'll pay double--triple for it. Just let me buy a computer!" And they haven't e-mailed me back, except to taunt me with the knowledge that the computer is still for sale, without telling me how I might buy it. It seems fate has willed that I not have another laptop. At all. Ever.


Life has been fairly well absorbed in workshop lately. We're writing a lot, which is fun, but a very different process than I usually work in. I usually work alone, and working by committee can be tiring and frustrating. And the play has diverted my from a story I really need to finish about asexual reproduction and memetics. I'm rereading the stories about mitosis and meiosis in Calvino's T Zero, in the hopes that they'll inspire me and get me back on track.


Thing One and Thing Two
Ian (my former roommate for those of you not in the know) walked up to me a moment ago and said, "Two things."

"Thing one?" I asked, looking up from my desk with my usual nonplussed expression.

Thing one was that he thought I might like to make a graphic for my Web site. An icon to appear in the address bar when you sign into me. Um...my site, that is. Nevermind the fact that I have the artistic talent of a clam wearing shoes. I can make a sixteen by sixteen pixel graphic.

Thing two was that I haven't posted his blog anywhere on my blog. And this is true. The reason for this is that I'm desperately insecure and worried that if anyone saw there was another blog they might read, that would divert their attentions away from my blog and I would lose all my friends and wind up alone in the gutter somewhere with nothing but a bottle of Jack Daniels and my old teddy bear from childhood to keep me company.

Yes, my mind really can come up with these scenarios. No, I honestly don't see any need to seek help. Honestly. Yes. Honestly.

Consider yourself posted, Ian.

Also, a thing two of my own. Theresa Nielsen Hayden has some very good suggestions for a way to buy traditional Indian garments directly from thier makers in India, without having to go through a wholesaler or any other middleman. Alas, if only I was a woman or lived in a climate where I could get away with wearing such lightweight fabrics. I may have to buy something, anyway.